Dying ESPN Ranks Dolphins Dead Last

ESPN: low hanging fruit in sports entertainment

ESPN was a must watch at one point… WAS–then they elected to have a lobotomy

ESPN recently ‘graced NFL fans‘ with their Post-Free Agency “2018 Power Rankings”

…And all the world was enlightened.

NOT!

Per usual, ESPN had a knee-jerk reaction: Due to the loss of Suh, Landry, and Pouncy Miami was ranked dead last at #32. What does this rank mean in ESPN’s eyes and who came up with the evaluation:

Scratch-the-surface evaluations seem to continually replace thoughtful analysis at ESPN. Despite this failed business model that’s leading to the company’s demise, they have no plans on changing it.

I mostly dismiss ESPN. But since too many Dolphins fans seem to agree with this dour prognosis, I had to offer a counter ‘argument’. This article isn’t solely about mocking cream-puff ESPN reporting, it’s really about countering the massive ‘apocalyptic perception’ that has metastasized among Dolphins fans.

Now, I’m not saying fans that see this regime as problematic are irrational. To the contrary, the disaster of 2017 has left even the most ardent Phins Fans rightfully leery. Phinsnews has a strong concern as well. It’s quite obvious just how close Gase and Co. are to the edge of the cliff. But 2018 will not even come close to 2008, as this ‘ranking’ suggests.

Also, neither am I saying that 2018 will be a Superbowl run. They aren’t. Not this year.

What I am saying is no way in hell is Miami getting their ass handed to them by 31 other teams!

So after a few quality imported beers sent down the hatch… here we go. The kids are asleep, so cheers to me!

ESPN is a romance that I’ll always remember fondly… even though I shouldn’t

ESPN runs the largest sporting networks in the world and has some exceptional talent. To say otherwise would be disingenuous. But for the most part, their ‘experts’ have a lack of intimate team knowledge and this leads them to pond-deep insights. Then add to this unfamiliarity ESPN’s love of their ‘favs’, who they pour positive press on… we know the names–the Dolphins aren’t one of them. This combination is a healthy portion as to why ESPN is more tabloid than journalism.

This is why reading articles by David Hyde, Joe Schad, Omar Kelly, and Armando Salguero, among others, is vastly superior to anything ESPN offers. Love them or hate them, they are close to the source and all in on one team. 

Okay, here is ESPN’s rationale for why the Dolphins are ranked #32:

ESPN: “That’s a lot of talent departing.”

Does ESPN mean: ‘Mr. 1-2 Practices a week for $9 Mill per Pouncey‘, or ‘molasses on a cold winter’s day can’t block Thomas‘? Or are they talking about ‘Joe AWOL, ‘I miss my old team’, can’t play 3 downs, Timmons‘? Maybe they were speaking of ‘PFF ranked 40.3 overall, worst starting Guard in the league, the living turnstile Bushrod‘?

Nah. Those names were just fluff to give ‘validity’ to there rank… for those who don’t know jack about the Dolphins.

Most likely ESPN meant ‘I want $50 mill guaranteed, $15 mill a year to be a slot player that NO ONE else is willing to pay for Landry‘ and ‘$19 mill a year, ‘I’m all about the Benjamins’ Suh!

Landry and Suh are elite… BUT hasn’t ESPN told us for decades that football is a team game?!

The latter paragraph isn’t meant to demean either Landry or Suh. NOT IN THE LEAST! I wish there wasn’t a CAP and both were still on the team. Rather, it’s about the inaccuracy and lack of context in ESPN’s analysis.

ESPN endlessly lauds the Patriots winning ways that are built on strict adherence to a team concept. Yet Miami is crucified for enacting a similar philosophy. I guess culture and CAP responsibility is only positive for ESPN’s ‘BFF’ New England. In South Florida, success is ‘talent at all cost’ and culture and team concept aren’t worth a hill of beams.

ESPN: “But they added some players, too…”

Yeah, ‘some guys‘: ‘PFF’s 2017 5th ranked, future Hall of Fame Guard Josh Sitton‘ and ‘2017’s tied for sacks with Jason Pierre Paul and Michael Bennett, for mid 4th rounder Robert Quinn‘. Add to that no-name list, ‘#1 in separation from coverage in the NFL, 13 yds per catch, 25 yr old Albert Wilson‘. Ohhh, how about this nobody, ‘future HOFer, hasn’t missed a game in years, 12th ranked rusher for $1mill, Frank Gore‘.

Yeah, Phins added,’Some guys’: Moe, Larry, and Curley, according to ESPN.

Now, Phinsnews won’t dare say we are above questioning the Dolphins offseason decisions. Yes, the Dolphins added older players. You can’t dismiss that. Our last article had a bit of fun with this new philosophy and fully agrees that age could put limits on the success for this offseason. The key word is could. But most of these Free Agents have no history of injury… but they do have a history of talent. So the reality is, as a group these new players a far more likely to end up solid contributions…

…And then there is the price consideration.

Suh, Landry, Bushrod, Thomas, Timmons, and Pouncey were worth over $60 mill in 2018.

Gore, Sitton, Kilgore, Quinn, Amendola, and Wilson are worth in the area of $35 mill in 2018.

That’s roughly $25 mill in saving!

ESPN: “These are based on which teams would win head-to-head.”

Sure the bar is set low for next year in terms of best pay per head service sites regular season win totals, odds to win the Division, and odds to win the Super Bowl.

But last year the Dolphins went 6-10 with a pair of backup QB’s, 31st rank in penalties committed, and a long list of issues that included no bye week, a critical AWOL, an arrest, and a coke head O-Line coach.

SOME of ESPN’s Power Rank funnies:
  1. #10 Texans: 4-12 in 2017, no 1st RD pick, with a young QB coming off ACL tear.
  2. #13 Seahawks: ” With Richard ShermanMichael BennettSheldon RichardsonDeShawn Shead and Jeremy Lane all gone — and more changes potentially coming — it’s possible Seattle could slip even further”. It’s possible. No O-Line, no 2nd, 3rd, and 6th RD picks.
  3. #23 Bills: McCarron 133 career attempts, didn’t they ship out a load of talent?
  4. #26 Jets: Bridgewater coming off a major injury, lost x2 2nds and 6th in trade up for a rookie QB
  5. #30 Browns: 2016-17 = 1 win

Are we really going to be even worse than 2017 with Ryan Tannehill coming back to run the offense? At the very least, we’ll have the same subpar team of the last decade. But no way in hell will the 2018 Dolphins THE worst team in the league.

Dolphins fans shouldn’t buy 2018 doom and gloom hook, line, and sinker

Even now the Dolphins have slightly better odds to win the Super Bowl than the Giants, Bills, Bengals, Jets, Bears, and Browns. Given the excellent spot of the #11, holding 5 picks in the 1st four Rd’s of the draft, and plenty of money for cuts after the Preseason, this 2018 Dolphins team has an excellent chance for success.

Mark it: above all else, discipline and Tannehill’s health is THE key to the Dolphins fortunes in 2018. IF McMillian has a strong return, they can get even a bit of luck, and the Phins have a B+ draft then Miami will again shatter its expectations. The chances of this aren’t asking for a hit at lotto. Go Phins!!!